A bride in white, vows spoken, rings exchanged, a kiss to seal their love. A hasty exit under a shower of rice. Feasting and merriment, cake and wine. Abouquet thrown to unwed maidens, a garter tossed to unwed men. A secret getaway, a honeymoon filled with lovemaking. The makings of a typical modern wedding? Yes. And the makings of a typical Pegan wedding as well. Like many ceremonies, customs, and traditions today, the typical wedding has its roots in folklore and pegan customs. The modern Pagan or Wiccan handfasting offers an opportunity to reclaim all these familiar customs and more.

History
Handfastings predate modern weddings, and were often performed to seal a couple's commitment to each other in lieu of a legally binding ceremony. A handfasting was originally a betrothal or engagement-a commitment lasting a year and a day. After this "trial run," the coule could choose to remain together and perform a more binding ceremony, or go their separate ways without animosity or obligation. Many Pagans and Wiccans are choosing the ceremony of handfasting as a legally binding rite of their long-term commitment to each other, not "til death do us part," but "for so long as love endures."

It is important to note that, though most of the customs here imply a heterosecual couple by using the terms "bride" and "groom," a handfasting may be performed for a heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual couple. Regardless, their union reflects the Sacred Marriage of the gods, and is a celebration of love and proclamation of commitment to each other.

Customs and Their Meanings
Handfasting, as the name implies, is literally the tying together of the couple's hands, symbolizing their union. The expression "tying the know" stems from this old tradition of binding the couple's hands together (right to right and left to left, forming a figure eight or sign of eternity) with a cord during the ceremony.

June has long been the most popular month for weddings. As Beltane, or May Day, celebrated the sacred marriage of the God and Goddess, the entire month of May was devoted to the gods, and it was once forbidden to wed during this time. It seems natural that after the lusty month of May, eager couples would wed as soon as possible. June is named after Juno, the Roman goddess of birth, maidens, mothers, and marriage. June is also the month of the Mead Moon, named after that sweet drink of fermented honey. "Honeymoon" comes from the tradition of marrying in June, and celebrating the event by sharing a drink of mead every day for a month, under the "honey" Moon. Many Pagans also choose to handfast at Imbolc or the equinox, tapping the energies of spring, or at Lughnasadh, enjoying the abundance of the first harvest.

On that special day, the bride represents the Goddes and the groom represents the Loard of the Greenwood. It is interesting that historically, the traditional white gown did not necessarily symbolize the bride's virginity, but rather her association with the maiden aspect of the Triple Goddess.

The ring itself, a perfect circle, represents the Goddess, the wheel of the year and cycle of life, and the never-ending love the couple shares. Placing it on the fourth finger of the left hand positions it over an artery, once believed to run directly from the hand to the heart.

Showering the newlywed couple with rice, grains, or seeds symbolically transfers the fertility of the crop to the couple, as well as ensuring that they will never hunger. Once, wheat biscuits were broken over the bride's head to ensure her fertility. Later, guests piled up small cakes, and if the bride and groom kissed over the top of them without disturbing the cakes, they were guaranteed many children. In today's ceremony, the groom places his hand over the bride's and, together, they plunge the knife into the cake. This act is a reflection of the Great Rite itself, and the sharing of this cake with guests passes the magical energy of the couple and the sweetness of their love to all.

Flowers and herbs, potent with magical meaning, have always been an essential part of any marriage ceremony. Red roses for love, orange blossoms for happiness and fertility, ivy for fidelity, rosemary for remembrance, sage for domestic virtue, and marigolds for sensual passion are just some of the traditional flowers and herbs used in wreaths, bouquets, and floral decorations. The strong scent of herbs (or sometimes garlic) carried by bridesmaids was thought to drive mischievous spirits away, therefore protecting the bride. The bride's bouquet traditionally included myrtle for luck and love. By giving myrtle to her bridesmaids, or tossing her bouquet to the unwed maidens, the bride shares her good fortune. Once, any item worn by a happy bride was considered good luck, and flowers, ribbons, gloves, and stocking were all fair game!

Once made of buckled leather, the garter has long been associated with both weddings and Witches. Among Witches, the garter was worn (and still is in Gardnerian traditions) by the priestess of the coven. A mark of her rank, a buckle was added for each new coven that grew from the original one. In some traditions, only a maiden could be priestess and the garter may have originally been passed, not to the bachelors, but to the next maiden who would take the priestess's place. Later stripped of its spiritual meaning, the garter was simply tossed to guests as a distraction so the couple could slip away. How delightful it would be to keep the gesture, and restore the spiritual power of the garter. Indeed, the garter worn by a priestess and caught by a young man would surely be a gift from the Goddess and a blessing of his manhood!.

Another custom that has found its way into modern Pagan handfastings is jumping over a broomstick, which has roots in both African and European tradition. Denied legal marriages, African-American slaves would jump over a broom to seal their vows, or cross two sticks, symbolizing the strength of their commitment. A European twist on this custom is the crossing of a broom and a sward over which the couple jumps, symbolizing the cutting and sweeping away of parental ties. The broom is also a symbol of fertitliy-the stick representing the male and the broom, the female.

The Ceremony
Although there are many Wiccan and Pagan traditions, each with their own brand of handfasting, some common elements exist. A typical handfasting ceremony will begin with the casting of a cirle, placing the coule and all who attend in a sacred space. The four directions are acknowledged and elementals are invited to join. A priest, priestess, or both may preside over the ceremony. Goddess and God are invoked to bless the bride and groom, whose union reflects the sacred union of the divine. Vows are spoken (many couples write their own, or draw passages from poetry or literature), rings or other tokens are blessed and exchanged, and the couple's hands are bound together. The coule shares drink and/or food, and the marriage is pronounced. Thanks are given to all beings present, the couple shares a kiss and jums the broom. Feasting, merriment, and gift-giving follow. That night, the sacred union of the God and Goddess is celebrated, as it hav been since time immemorial, by yet another happy couple.